Post by meadicus on Nov 3, 2005 14:08:00 GMT
Once upon a time there was a small city. At the centre of the city was a small village, full of farms. At the centre of the village was a 46 floor skyscraper. On the roof of which was Farmer Marmaduke's farm. He was named after his father, a man called Brian.
He had a field of mushrooms (not the magic kind, just normal purple mushrooms with yellow spots). A run of chickens and four cows named Daisy, Maisy, Raisy and Gertrude.
Daisy, Maisy and Raisy didn't like Gertrude much, because her name didn't fit their rhyming scheme. So one day while the farmer wasn't looking they chopped her up with the scythe and fed her to the chickens.
When the farmer returned he was shocked to find Gertrude gone. The other cows told him that she'd jumped off the roof in a fit of depression. The farmer screamed and ran to the edge of the building and looked down, but the ground was far to far away. So he ran inside and began to make his way down the stairs. The lift was broken.
At this point the cows realised they would be in trouble once the farmer got down and found no body. Fortunately Maisy looked a lot like Gertrude, so Daisy and Raisy pushed her off the edge. Thus Maisy fell to her doom.
Raisy began to express her feelings of guilt and Daisy had become addicted to the the thrill of murder. So she killed Raisy with a sword she had to hand, then waited for the farmer to return. Clearly distracted by the shock of his cow's apparent suicide, he didn't notice as Daisy decapitated him from behind with a sharpened hoof. Then she sold their bodies to the McDonald's on the floor below.
Daisy enjoyed running the farm from then on, and indeed also liked eating all the mushrooms. She was insistent that for her farm to succeed all the other farms had to fail. So from her high vantage point she dropped chickens onto all the other farms. From this hight a chicken reaches terminal velocity, which creates quite a crater (and mess) on impact. Thus all the other farms were destroyed.
Daisy though had even less business acumen than sanity, and having eaten all the mushrooms and killed all the chickens she had no crop to sell. Thus everyone had to EAT McDONALDS!!!!!
The end.
By Mead
He had a field of mushrooms (not the magic kind, just normal purple mushrooms with yellow spots). A run of chickens and four cows named Daisy, Maisy, Raisy and Gertrude.
Daisy, Maisy and Raisy didn't like Gertrude much, because her name didn't fit their rhyming scheme. So one day while the farmer wasn't looking they chopped her up with the scythe and fed her to the chickens.
When the farmer returned he was shocked to find Gertrude gone. The other cows told him that she'd jumped off the roof in a fit of depression. The farmer screamed and ran to the edge of the building and looked down, but the ground was far to far away. So he ran inside and began to make his way down the stairs. The lift was broken.
At this point the cows realised they would be in trouble once the farmer got down and found no body. Fortunately Maisy looked a lot like Gertrude, so Daisy and Raisy pushed her off the edge. Thus Maisy fell to her doom.
Raisy began to express her feelings of guilt and Daisy had become addicted to the the thrill of murder. So she killed Raisy with a sword she had to hand, then waited for the farmer to return. Clearly distracted by the shock of his cow's apparent suicide, he didn't notice as Daisy decapitated him from behind with a sharpened hoof. Then she sold their bodies to the McDonald's on the floor below.
Daisy enjoyed running the farm from then on, and indeed also liked eating all the mushrooms. She was insistent that for her farm to succeed all the other farms had to fail. So from her high vantage point she dropped chickens onto all the other farms. From this hight a chicken reaches terminal velocity, which creates quite a crater (and mess) on impact. Thus all the other farms were destroyed.
Daisy though had even less business acumen than sanity, and having eaten all the mushrooms and killed all the chickens she had no crop to sell. Thus everyone had to EAT McDONALDS!!!!!
The end.
By Mead